Mark Lee 00:00:00 

Hello and welcome to all our listeners. Thank you for tuning in to The Capelle Podcast where you can get insights from Capelle on navigating the recent trends in our business world. I’m your host Mark Lee, and today we have with us Suan Tan, one of our very own learning consultants here in Capelle to share with us on the topic, emotional intelligence in this digital age. Suan, thank you so much for being here. 

Suan Tan 00:00:26 

It’s my pleasure. Thank you for having me. 

Mark Lee 00:00:29  

Great, so Suan, perhaps you could set the stage for us. All of us recognize that we’re living in a digital age. Technology and digitalization are intertwined in our everyday lives. Of all the crucial elements at play because of that, what makes emotional intelligence something we should really pay attention to?

Suan Tan 00:00:50  

Yes, Mark, so we have to be acutely aware of the times we’re living in. We may know the terms like digital age, fourth industrial revolution, but do we really understand the implications? In an era where we celebrate automation, AI, machine learning, rights of new and disruptive technologies in our businesses and workplaces. It is very exciting for us all. Yet we all fear about losing our value at work. Like does my work really matter? Am I replaceable? Do I have the right skillsets? Now these are some of the prevalent questions for many, many people right now.

Mark Lee 00:01:26  

Yeah, I definitely agree, you’ve really extracted the essence of what’s lying on many people’s hearts when they’re trying to balance their concerns of how to bring technology into their job while still remaining relevant, and perhaps we could articulate what’s on people’s hearts and minds this way. How will I, as a human being, differentiate myself from the technology at work? I think that’s really one of the first questions we want to have a go at.

Suan Tan 00:01:52 

Yeah, that’s a very important question because I can’t do the work faster or cheaper, when compared to a chatbot or an AI doing analysis. I think it comes down to our humanness. And by that I don’t mean our empathy, but our awareness and clarity of our feelings, our values, our ability to work with humans. So for example, you are dealing with a chatbot, you get frustrated, you don’t want talk to the chatbot anymore and then you face the customer service personnel. Now by the time you face the customer service personnel, you’re probably livid. You’re disappointed and you’re wondering whether this human can solve the problem. Does this human understand you? Get your sarcasm and all that. Will the person get you? So if I’m the worker, if I’m a customer service personnel, will I and can I do a better job in handling this customer? So my emotional intelligence will come to play, like my awareness, my self-regulation and of course my social skills.

Mark Lee 00:02:52 

Thanks very much for that insight, Suan. I think our attention also then turns to a second element of this question of differentiating ourselves, which is, how will the humans at work in our professional spaces differentiate ourselves from other humans in this day and age?

Suan Tan 00:03:09  

Another term that Daniel Pink used in his book, “A whole new mind – Why right brainers will rule the future”, for this digital age is conceptual age, so he’s saying that we are living in an era of high concept and high touch. Creativity is the focus of the day. How can we provide services or products that reflect the high concept and high touch unless we have emotional intelligence which encompasses empathy, resilience and even vulnerability? I also think I should point out that the global high rate of change or highly dynamic workplaces with the focus on UX like user experience demands much more from us, the humans. The rapid change in job scenarios, job scopes and teams etc. require high self-awareness, self-management, resilience and good social skills to make teams work.

Mark Lee 00:04:02  

I think you definitely touched on very key points. There’s one which is a lot of people have this question that maybe they’re afraid to articulate, will I be replaced by technology? I think what you’re reminding us is that there’s really a unique value that a human being brings to these scenarios and how to really capitalize on that, or really, how even technology seeks to capitalize on that humanness so it’s really something that we can’t lose sight of, even with all the technology around us.

Suan Tan 00:04:30  

Absolutely.

Mark Lee 00:04:31  

So what are some steps then that people can take, bosses, organizations can take, to be proactive in drawing out this people element for their own people and their stakeholders, especially given that there’s a lot of rapid change and digitalization that’s going on.

Suan Tan 00:04:48  

I think the first step is not to shy away from emotional intelligence. Many people mistakenly think that EI, emotional intelligence, is about being soft and nice. If Steve Jobs and Elon Musk can do without it, so can we. And another myth that people have is that people with high EQ don’t get angry and are pushovers, that means they’re not assertive. Now this is so wrong. Emotionally intelligent people have clarity on what they feel because their emotions lead them to know what matters and so they make better decisions. So embrace emotional intelligence, because that inspires trust and create great places to work or where creativity is much needed right now. If you remember Elon Musk, he has his outbursts. And if you can recall, it not only rattles the investors, it also cast doubt on him as a leader.

Mark Lee 00:05:38  

That’s right.

Suan Tan 00:05:38  

Unless you work in total isolation, emotional intelligence is a must.

Mark Lee 00:05:45  

I think that’s really helpful, Suan, to recognize what high emotional intelligence or emotional quotient, EQ, is, and it isn’t. I think a lot of times, maybe because of prevailing culture, we think, oh, we don’t want to be too aggressive or we don’t want to be too soft. So I think addressing how that balance is very important and the impact it has on your workspace is so key. So I think many of our listeners would connect with that insight. And say yes, you know, I want to be able to achieve that balance. I want to be able to achieve that high level of emotional quotient. Or do you have any pointers on how they might start growing that emotional intelligence and quotient?

Suan Tan 00:06:20 

I think one thing we can do at our workplaces is to hone our team interaction skills, to be an effective team member or lead an effective team. Another thing we can do is to manage change for ourselves and others and have conversations about them. Such conversations, surprisingly, can be liberating and empowering, while it requires us to be a bit vulnerable and honest with the emotions that we’re going through. Also in this age, we have to be more relevant to our customers and stakeholders to empathize with them and see things from their angle rather than from our own work processes and policies. I have to say that many unempathetic business processes and practices have come about in the name of efficiency. So how can we be more empathetic and less concerned with efficiency?  

I also want to address what EI is because I’ve said what EI is not. I’ve said it’s not soft. It’s not being nice. I want to say that EI actually is an ability and we can all hone that ability. Are we able to identify, assess and manage the emotions of self, others and the environment? Which is the work environment or the team environment or the customer environment? So in brief, if you want to hone your emotional intelligence, then you have to hone these competencies – awareness, assessment of emotions and management of these emotions.

Mark Lee 00:07:43 

That’s great, I think you’ve given us some really practical handles there to become first aware, and then to assess, and then to manage so it sometimes can be like, oh, just take care of yourself emotionally. We often hear right, be well. But actually, you’ve given us, when you dig down to the details, a more logical process. First you become aware, then you assess and then you manage. So I think that’s really helpful and it’s interesting Suan because as we were talking about business processes, it really is in the business world I think a case where you have many people who are so proficient and are really experts at managing paths or managing process, but I think what you’re reminding us about here is that we’ve also got to become experts in managing people. First and foremost, ourselves.

Suan Tan 00:08:30 

You’re absolutely right. To manage people requires us to know people and to know ourselves as well and it starts with really emotional literacy. Every emotion is information to a person of high EQ and we use those emotions. We don’t just put them aside and label, this is a negative emotion, I don’t want to deal with it; This is a positive emotion and I want more positive emotions. If we keep going on that, then we’ll have fake emotions at work. People feel obliged to be happy, to be good and not honest in their responses and if they keep doing that then how can creativity come about? Because creativity requires quite a lot of vulnerability. Also, honest feedback of validating the ideas and so on. So emotional literacy is critical. I think that’s the first beginning step if you want to manage yourself, manage other people when the emotions reveal something to you like what you value, then you are able to have a better conversation about it.  

Really, being human means that we know the intrapersonal and interpersonal conflicts that arise, and that can only happen when we’re emotionally literate or we know the values underlying all those strong emotions that we see at work and observe at work. 

So if you say where to begin managing people, emotional literacy is one and also being aware of yourself is one, and how to prevent triggers from hijacking your response is one, so that’s really important. I think we need to be courageous, we talk about EQ and managing people. To be courageous to just have a conversation with a trusted someone, to pen down certain emotions you may feel at the workplace, so that we can navigate through these very uncertain times.

Mark Lee 00:10:11  

That’s right.

Suan Tan 00:10:12  

I just want to walk through an example with you, how can I do it when I’m managing people. So let me share with you I was working with a client on a training program on a topic that I am familiar with. Then I received an email from the client. It was a very long one with many recommendations, so I was very tempted to skim through it, ignore it, so I just closed the email and then I recognized I was irritated. Irritation tells you that probably there’s a bit of disgust, and when there’s disgust comes the information that some value is violated. So I asked myself what value was violated? And I realized that I’m a person who values autonomy, so being sent a long email with recommendations almost felt like I was being micro-managed, but yet at the same time I felt obliged to respond, because my other value was responsibility. So how do I navigate through these two values? And of course, others management means, what is my client feeling and needing? Probably assurance, right? So how do I get a win-win? Addressing my own emotions of needing autonomy, but being responsible and yet giving her assurance, so this is really about EQ. When you know yourself, you know your client, you know the person you’re working with and think through what can we do to get to our mutual outcome rather than being reactive and efficient.

Mark Lee 00:11:32  

Yeah, I really like that example Suan because I think many of us can identify with that. But the way we respond perhaps isn’t as nuanced and maybe as healthy as what you demonstrated for us, because I think you also shared that what you were experiencing was something that you had to pay attention to. It wasn’t just everything on the client side, sometimes we have maybe a false or overly committed sense of service which is just, okay, I’m just going to serve the client and reply, but you haven’t really taken the time to settle yourself first or identify that kind of emotional tension that maybe would have bled over into your response unknowingly and then maybe it escalates from there.

Suan Tan 00:12:08  

Yeah, that’s right.

Mark Lee 00:12:10  

So just taking the time to settle yourself, get that clarity, resolve the inner tensions before you respond, I think is a really healthy way forward. So I think maybe we’re starting to narrow down into some of the key principles here, and one of those that I’ve caught from your sharing is the ability to be curious. To be very curious about what’s going on inside your own emotional space and try and put yourself in the shoes of the other person, that curiosity for them as well. Any thoughts on that.

Suan Tan 00:12:40 

So curiosity is the beginning step. To be curious, not to be judgmental, not to be so task focused, but to be curious about the emotions of others, the thoughts of others, the values of others. Another thing we need to do is to develop good habits. Because we all have bad habits of cutting people off when people object to our ideas. So if we could develop good habits when we are triggered or we have certain strong emotions, is to have ready scripts like saying, Tell me more, or Oh, okay, thank you for that perspective rather than, Yes, but why do you think that way? So that is actually not helpful to really understand and navigate through these uncertain times, but to allow for further conversations through more highly emotional, intelligent responses would be helpful.

Mark Lee 00:13:29  

Yeah, absolutely. It’s really about an awareness of both self and the person or persons you are engaging. I think that’s what you’re really helping us catch, Suan and of course, being able to surface that and constructively engage with what’s really on people’s hearts and minds, especially with all the technological buzz around us is just so important.  

As we are drawing to a close of our time here, Suan I’d just like to ask if you have any closing thoughts, or perhaps a particular take-away that you think our listeners would really benefit from on this topic of emotional intelligence.

Suan Tan 00:14:05  

My closing thought would be this – To be curious about what does it mean to be truly human in this age, where your left-brain efficiency can be taken over by robots, AI and so on? What does it mean for you to be really human towards another human and to create services and products that actually humans would delight in, not just to be working for them, but they would delight in. So these are my questions for us all to consider.

Mark Lee 00:14:37  

Excellent food for thought. Thank you so much for that Suan.

Suan Tan 00:14:40  

You’re very welcome.

Mark Lee 00:14:42  

And thank you to all our listeners really who we hope have been very curiously engaged and have had their own curiosity peaked from this podcast on boosting your emotional intelligence in this digital age. We hope that your curiosity remains engaged because we will be back with an upcoming episode on making impact through your digital presentations. For now, though, we thank you again for your time and we look forward to having you on the next Capelle Podcast.